Hello Dear Readers of Dewey’s Daily Cup!
I am very honored to be your guest “barista” today, serving up today’s CUP. I have been drinking Dewey’s Daily CUP for over a year now. As with you, it’s part of my daily routine. Many of your names are familiar to me, though we’ve never met. Some I’ve been privileged to and count as new friends. I’m so thankful for the many “prayer warriors” that drink from this CUP. I’ve been on the receiving end of many of your prayers, and it’s means a lot. It’s made a difference. Please don’t stop.
As for Dewey, I love this man. I love his passion, compassion, conviction and tireless service for the Lord Jesus Christ. He doesn’t just write that nothing else matters to him but what Jesus has called him to…he lives that way. Just like my father-in-law, Pastor Jim Montoya, who first introduced me to Dewey a few years ago. I am so thankful to have these men in my life. They are friends, brothers, fathers…my pastors, so often the arms and voice of the Lord Jesus in my life. I offer my CUP to you today because of them.
Writing this CUP was therapeutic. I hope you will experience that, too, as you read it. The Lord has shown me that sometimes the best view we can have of what lies in front of us is to look at what now lies behind us. “From faith to faith…” is how the Bible puts that. This is what I’ve seen. This is what I see…
FEAR and DANCING
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
You might call this my “life verse”…at least it has been for the past 10 years. God first spoke it to me in 2001, during the dark days of my wife Pamela’s second miscarriage. In fear and desperation, I came across the verse and claimed it. Pamela and I needed it. We were now on the brink of going 2 for 2, so to speak – two pregnancies, two miscarriages. This, after negotiating a plan during pre-marriage counseling to ensure we didn’t have too many kids. Such power. Our second miscarriage was in process but hope was being held out that our baby could still survive. Pamela continued to spot. I remember lying in bed with her as she rested and briefly falling asleep. Immediately I began dreaming and saw Pamela and a little girl, together in an airport, waiting to board a plane. It felt so real. The little girl, I assumed, was our daughter. I awoke suddenly from the dream and took it to be assurance from God that all was okay. Our child would be born safe. I told Pamela about the dream and tried to relax.
The next day we made another trip to the hospital and the miscarriage was confirmed. No child, no daughter, no airport. No dream from God.
Fast forward to May 13th, 2003. Pamela has safely delivered our first born child via a very painful C-section and 24 hours of labor. Her name is Isabella. Because of what happened the first two times, our joy and expectation during the pregnancy had been somewhat tempered. 41 weeks later, we could finally exhale and embrace our precious gift from God. Since our marriage began in July 2000 our thoughts about children had gone from “How many?” to “Lord please, just one!” Here was one.
The following January, during Isabella’s dedication service, I read Psalm 30:11-12 to our church and family, trying to choke back the tears but failing:
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, to the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever. Psalm 30:11-12
Truly God had turned our mourning in to dancing! And our dancing over Isabella continues to this day, 8 years later. Since that time, God has blessed us with two more beautiful reasons to dance – Antonio, born in 2005, and Andres, born in 2009. Nor more miscarriages, thank God, but the pain of never meeting our two beautiful first children remains. That joyful meeting will take place in Jesus’ house!
Now another story related to Isaiah 41:10. This story is still being written. On June 12th, 2011 I was helping out the Open Door Church of God at a park Revival service in Los Lunas. I was part of a group praying for those in need of healing. I bent to sit in a chair and immediately felt an all too familiar twinge in my lower back. My lower back had gone out – a fearful and frequent occurrence since having surgery for a ruptured disc in 1997. Exasperated, I asked some pastors there to anoint me with oil and pray for my healing. What irony. The back continued to tighten and by evening was spasming. Having experienced this many times before, I prepared myself for the usual ritual – a week or two of pain and tightness and then back to what passes for “normal” for one with a bad back.
Four months later and I’m still not back to “normal”. The pain and tightness remain. A second visit to a pain management specialist last week included talk of joint injection shots and possible disc replacement surgery. Treatment options will depend on how much pain I can live with, which supposedly will only get worse as I age. Before seeing the pain management specialist, the Lord again reminded me of Isaiah 41:10. I took courage and started praying it positively. “I am not fearful, for You are with me. I am not dismayed, for You are my God. You will strengthen me. Yes, You will help me. You will uphold me with Your righteous right hand.” I went in to that appointment hopeful. I came out deflated.
Now what? I’ve done everything physically and spiritually I know to get better. I’ve intensely studied Biblical healing and acted upon it. Friends, family and people I’ve never met have prayed and continue to pray. My wife and kids uphold me daily. Isabella firmly believes I will be healed but was in tears after my last appointment. I want this for her as much as myself. Homeopathic treatment is being added. A visit to a different back specialist for another evaluation is scheduled. Facet joint injection shots are scheduled. Daily exercise prescribed at physical therapy continues. And my spirit is sustained daily by His Spirit, Word and the body of Christ.
And I’m chewing on Isaiah 41:10 again. This time I’ve turned it in to a conversation. It goes like this:
“Fear not…”
I’m scared.
“for I am with you.”
I feel alone.
“Be not dismayed…”
I am.
“for I am your God.”
You are.
“I will strengthen you…”
I feel weak.
“Yes, I will help you.”
I feel helpless.
“I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Carry me.
“Fear not…”
I know, I know…
“You seem sad. How about some dancing?”
Say when, Lord! Say when…
Pamela & Isabella in 2005, together in an airport, waiting to board a plane. Dreams from God come true!
For the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ,
Victor G. Martinez
misterdetail
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